Super Bowl LIII: A Super Bowl XXXVI Rematch Drinking Game

Super Bowl LIII—or 53 for those of you who don’t actively use Roman numerals—is set: Los Angeles Rams vs. New England Patriots.

Much to my hatred, the New England Patriots are in the Super Bowl—again. For the third time in a row*. In case you’re new here, I’m a New York Giants fan living in Connecticut. It sucks. I did this to myself, really, so I have no one else to blame. (I will point out, though, that my dad is a Minnesota Vikings fan, and my mom is a Giants fan just because I am. So we’re a little messed up.)

*I feel like I’m not allowed to complain because I’m a University of Alabama football fan who has enjoyed her fair share of National Championship games…

I don’t have any feelings either way against the Rams. I think they need to figure out where they really want to stay—the Rams originated in Los Angeles from 1946 to 1994, moved to St. Louis for some awful reason until 2015, and then moved back to LA in 2016—because that’s just a lot of uprooting and moving to do. And at least they don’t have a name like the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of the United States of the North America of the World. I’m also convinced their coach is 12. And so is their QB. But youths run the world, right?

(Their coach, Sean McVay is 32, and their QB, Jared Goff, is 24. I’M OLDER THAN HIM BY ALMOST FIVE MONTHS AND NOT PLAYING IN A SUPER BOWL.)

Obviously, since I absolutely hate the Patriots, I’m rooting for the Rams to win. Hey, I rooted for the Eagles to win last year and they did, soooooo *shrugging emoji* The Pats are a 2.5 point favorite, so I guess they’re assuming the game will be close. (Throughout the season while I was in a football pool, the Pats were normally a 13+ point favorite. I was also really bad at said football pool, so maybe don’t trust my judgment on spreads. That was the same pool where I always picked against the Giants.)

My mom always makes wonderful snacks for the Super Bowl. This year’s menu includes mozzarella sticks, mini meatball sliders, taco dip, popcorn chicken, wings, and homemade peanut butter and graham cracker rice crispy treats. The heartburn is 100% worth it.

I’ll be watching the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet, as well as the Kitten Bowl on the Hallmark Channel. Assuming my dogs don’t bark at the TV and ruin everything.

Last year, I brought you a drinking game as a neutral fan, and I’m doing the same again this year.

Drink when:

  • Tony Romo thinks he made some kind of amazing prediction
    • Chug if he’s actually right
  • Any mention of how Tom Brady’s first Super Bowl was against the (St. Louis) Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI in 2002
  • Any fun CBS graphic showing how old some of the Pats players were when TB12 was in Super Bowl XXXVI
  • Any mention of the Patriots being in the last three out of four Super Bowls
  • Talk about how old Rams’ head coach Sean McVay is
  • Any talk about Bill Belichick and Tom Brady
  • Speculation about when Brady will retire
  • A Giselle sighting
  • Any ref doesn’t call pass interference (no, wait, that would only be if the Saints were playing…)
  • Flashbacks to the NFC championship game
  • Any cool touchdown celebrations
    • Drink again if it looks like the entire team is involved in the celebration
  • Mention of Julian Edelman’s comeback from not playing in 2017 and his four-game suspension for violating the NFL’s drug policy at the beginning of the season
  • If someone brings up the Patriots/Falcons Super Bowl game, since they’re playing in Atlanta
  • Any time Bill Belichick throws something on the sidelines
    • Drink again if it’s a Microsoft Surface
  • If Maroon 5 absolutely tanks the half time performance
  • If Maroon 5 shocks everyone and doesn’t suck
  • Any commercial sucks
  • Any commercial that doesn’t make sense
  • Any commercial has a baby or an animal in it

Feel free to add to the drinking game in the comments, and you can obviously use your beverage of choice, whether alcoholic or non-alcoholic.

I ended with this last year, and I’ll end with it again because it’s still 100% true:

Fun fact of the day: The Patriots would currently have seven (even with their lost last year) Super Bowl rings instead of five if they hadn’t lost TWICE to the New York Giants.

6 comments

  1. There’s a Kitten Bowl now? Is anyone looking forward to Maroon 5? Oh man, it’s a good thing I don’t drink or this drinking game would kill me. You pretty much covered everything. I’d add, drink all alcohol in sight if the power goes out at the stadium.

    I don’t know who to cheer for. I want both teams to win?? I became a Patriots fan during that 2002 Super Bowl but then I abandoned them this year for the Chiefs. Not sure if I’m allowed to go back to their fan club on a temporary basis, or not.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes! There’s been a Kitten Bowl for the last few years on Hallmark and sometimes the kitties have football player-themed names. They’ve had them in the past, at least. I like Maroon 5, but more of their old stuff, and I feel like they’re going to be okay, nothing to write home about.

      I’d say that you’re not allowed to go back to being a Pats fan if you jumped off the wagon.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Woo! I’m with your dad on the MN Vikings. What’s his reason for rooting for them?? All of the snacks your mom made sound wonderful. I didn’t even know Tom Brady was married to Giselle hahaha what the heck?! What did you end up thinking of the Maroon 5 performance?!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Vikings games were broadcasted on TV when he was younger, and that’s when the defensive line was called the Purple People Eaters, and he thought it was funny. So he’s stuck with them all of these years haha.

      I didn’t like the halftime show at all really. I didn’t know the other two guys who were performing with them, and it just seemed rough to me. Plus, I don’t think “She Will Be Loved” screams Super Bowl halftime performance haha.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hahaha that’s such a funny reason for him to like them. They are quite disappointing so I’m surprised he has stuck with them for so long!

        I didn’t watch the halftime show but LOL “She Will Be Loved” really doesn’t shout Super Bowl. What the heck, Adam Levine?!

        Liked by 1 person

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