As I explained in this post, I’m a Giants fan living in New England. It’s a struggle. And it’s even worse when the Patriots are back in the Super Bowl, again.

I guess by default I’m rooting for the Eagles, which pains me a little since they’re division rivals of the Giants. I root for whoever can beat the Patriots, because I don’t want to have to deal with them winning back-to-back Super Bowls.

I’m going to watch the game, regardless, because I like football, and my mom makes the best snacks for the Super Bowl: mozzarella sticks, wings, popcorn chicken, mini meatball sliders, taco dip, and homemade ice cream sandwiches.

My pre-game will include watching the Puppy Bowl, assuming my dogs won’t bark the entire time and ruin it.

So I guess to pass the time during the Super Bowl, it can be made into a drinking game.

Drink When:

• The announcers talk about Carson Wentz
• Drink again if they show him on the sidelines
• Any mention of Tom Brady’s daughter being called a “pissant”
• Mention of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick
• Talk about how crazy Eagles fans are
• If the temperature in Minnesota is below zero
• Drink again if they show a shirtless guy
• Mention of the Vikings almost making the Super Bowl and the chance to play in their own stadium
• Any mention of the wardrobe malfunction that happened the last time Justin Timberlake performed at halftime
• Drink again if Janet Jackson or NSYNC appear at halftime
• #Deflategate
• Talk about Gronk’s concussion and/or TB12’s thumb
• Any mention of the 2005 Super Bowl featuring the Eagles and Patriots
• Dilly Dilly
• Someone mentions that the Eagles haven’t won a Super Bowl yet
• The Eagles are called “underdogs” and that weird dog mask is shown
• Any commercial sucks
• Any commercial that doesn’t make sense
• They show the Mall of America

ALSO fun fact of the day: The Patriots would currently have seven Super Bowl rings instead of five if they hadn’t lost TWICE to the New York Giants.