Finding Myself in Friend Funk

My anxiety causes me to sometimes believe things that probably aren’t true. I’m used to it by now and have to actively tell myself that I’m overthinking things. But within the last month or so I feel like I’m in a friend funk.

I 100% understand that people are busy, and we’re all on different schedules. But I feel like I’m the one who’s reaching out to make plans. And that makes me feel naggy. Or I don’t get a response back, and I don’t want to seem clingy by reaching out again. So when both happen with different people within a few weeks, it makes me think it’s me.

I’ve never had a big friend group to begin with, so when I find that I have no one to talk to, it’s kind of noticeable to me. I’m totally okay with only having a few; it’s once I don’t see them/talk to them, I feel kind of lonely.

If you haven’t talked to someone in a while or want to hang out with someone, you should just text them. But it gets kind of tiring when you’re always the one who’s reaching out. I’m back to setting the bar kind of low, which I know I shouldn’t.

I keep telling myself that it’s not me, that they’re just busy or forgot to text me back. But the little voice in the back of my head is saying that they don’t want to talk to me or hang out with me. It’s when the reliable people stop being reliable because those seem to be few and far between.

Have you ever been in a “friend funk”? How do you reach out to your friends? Am I just overthinking?

4 comments

  1. I totally understand. I’ve been there. People are getting very self centered lately. I tend to expect people to respond and react like I would. Even a counselor said I expect to much from friends. So, I am staying happy in my own company and keeping busy. If a friend reaches out or we meet, it’s an exciting adventure.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I often think I’m in a permanent friend funk. Most of it is because I’ve embraced the introvert in my personality and I’m generally content to have a small social life. Used to be I would reach out to people I considered friends and suggest getting together to do something, but it felt like my suggestions were often ignored. If someone else suggested the exact same thing, everyone seemed to jump on board. I think that kind of led to me having a “screw you guys” attitude. Much like my attitude toward dating, I just decided, what’s the point in trying? You know what, don’t listen to me. I’m just being a huge pessimist. Friends are important. No one is an island. Or something…

    Liked by 1 person

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