It’s hard to believe I’m already on year four of my Super Bowl pre- and post-game posts. I always look forward to doing these because it gives me an opportunity to just yell about football for a while.

This year’s Super Bowl is a match-up of the Los Angeles Rams and the Cincinnati Bengals—yes, the Bengals, not “Bagels” as a friend thought I first said to her when she asked who was playing in the game.

Similar to last year, one of the teams—the Rams—is playing in their home stadium—SoFi Stadium; last year the Tampa Bay Buccaneers played in their home stadium, marking the first time that’s ever happened. It appears that technically the Bengals will be the home team, and according to CBS Sports, the reason is “due to the NFL alternating the designation between conferences each year. This means they’ll use the Rams’ typical home-stadium locker room during the game.” That seems a bit awkward. But this also means the Bengals, as the “home” team get to choose the uniforms, so with great power comes great responsibility.

It honestly doesn’t matter to me who wins; as I said in the title of this post, I just hope both teams have fun. I’m glad that Matthew Stafford is finally in the Super Bowl after spending many miserable years with the Detroit Lions, and Joe Burrow seems like a cool guy. But I also have a weird obsession with Sean McVay, the Rams coach, so I wouldn’t be totally upset if the Rams won. (Let’s never forget that McVay had a get-back coach.)

In prior years, I would stay at home with my parents and partake in a variety of snacks, often ending in heartburn—although it was always worth it. This year, Josh and I are going to his best friend’s house for the game; there will be a total of 6 of us there, including a dog. I’m going to make spinach artichoke dip in my Crockpot as well as funfetti cookies. I’m pretty excited to make my first dip in the Crockpot, but my main goal is to successfully transport the Crockpot from my condo to the final destination.

As is tradition, here’s my drinking game for the Super Bowl:

Drink…

• If the National Anthem takes more than two minutes (this year it will be sung by Mickey Guyton)
• If they show any clips of Joe Burrow smoking a cigar at the National Championship Game
• If they mention Joe Burrow and Matthew Stafford were both no. 1 picks in the draft
• If they mention how long Stafford was in Detroit/just any mention of the Detroit Lions
• If they mention McVay’s age (he’s 36 and would become the youngest coach to win the Super Bowl)
• If they talk about how the Rams are playing in their home stadium (although as the “away” team)
• If they mention the Rams are looking to win their first Super Bowl in Los Angeles
  • Drink again if they also mention their only Super Bowl win was in 1999 as the St. Louis Rams
• If they mention this is the Bengals’ first Super Bowl apperance since 1988
• If NBC shows a bunch of Olympics promos (you could probably get drunk on this alone)
• If for some reason they manage to bring up Aaron Rodgers and his COVID diagnosis
• If there’s any mention of Tom Brady
• If there are drone shots outside the stadium
• If Odell Beckham Jr. throws a pass
• If they show fans inside a bar in Cincinatti
• Whenever they show a celebrity in a private suite
• If they mention all the 1st round picks the Rams have traded away
• If there are any cool touchdown celebrations
  • Drink again if it looks like the entire team is involved in the celebration
  • Drink again if a Bengals player does the “Ickey Shuffle” after a touchdown
• If any commercial sucks
• If there’s a commercial for crypto
• If any commercial that doesn’t make sense
• If any commercial has a baby or an animal in it

(Special thanks to Paul for helping out again this year with some ideas!)

You can obviously use your beverage of choice, whether alcoholic or non-alcoholic. Josh and I will be sharing a variety pack of Sam Adams along with having tons of yummy food tomorrow at our little get-together.

After working on this post, I have officially decided I will be rooting for Los Angeles. Go Rams!