Is It All In My Head?

For some reason, really within the last week or so, I’m super aware of how I act, and boy do I feel awkward.

I would have thought my anxiety would have to be acting up for that to happen, but I feel fine. I know what I’m doing at my job, so that’s not the problem. I haven’t really done anything outside of my normal routine. But I feel so awkward.

(A great example: I went to an event on campus today at work, and I have to go pick something up tomorrow morning related to the event. So I asked, “Do we have to pick it up tomorrow or Thursday?” and the kid was like, “Tomorrow’s Thursday.” So that’s when I learned I shouldn’t be let out in public.)

When I’m asked a question that has a short or simple answer, I find myself rambling. Granted, I do answer the question, but it takes me a while to get there. Or I throw in unnecessary extras that weren’t relevant to what we were talking about.

Before the start of the year, I cut my hair, which I don’t regret at all, but it’s gotta be the lighting in the women’s bathroom at work because I feel like either I’m not styling it right or my forehead is just really big. (I’d like to think it’s the ridiculously bright florescent lighting.)

Or maybe it’s because I know deep down I’m doubting myself. The other night, I rattled off a draft post about a crush that I have—maybe if you guys are lucky you’ll get to read it one day—and how people have told me to give it a try, but I know I can’t. It’s a long story, but based on my past experiences with guys and me “making the first move”, it doesn’t end well. At all. I know it’s just a silly crush and I can suppress it, but for some reason, it’s consuming some of my thoughts. And leading me to think that my forehead is really big. Or that guys don’t really go for me. That it’s better to just let sleeping dogs lie.

Hopefully this weird feeling moves on quickly, because I don’t like being inside my head this much. This is why I don’t do yoga or drive by myself for extended periods of time. I hope I don’t seem as awkward to everyone as I feel… I’m hoping there’s something I can do that will boost my confidence, whether it’s going for a good run or tackling a project at work.

Any advice on how I get out of my own head and stop feeling awkward?

9 comments

  1. The best way to deal with uncomfortable feelings is just to power through them. Speak lovingly to yourself. And try to remember that everyone feels the exact same way some of the time. No matter how confident they might seem, we all worry about the same stuff. I promise.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yes, tomorrow is Thursday. And as someone who has lost hats on my head, glasses on my nose, my wallet in my pants and my cellphone WHILE I WAS TALKING ON IT, brain cramps happen. Laugh it off.

    Your hair is just getting used to the new ‘do.

    Rambling when you talk? That happens? I know nothing about that! (Just don’t talk to my brother.)

    Past experience with crushes does not guarantee future results.

    You’re having a stretch. You’ll be fine.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. You are not as awkward as you feel! You will find the right guy, he will think you’re the most beautiful woman out there. Making the first move is rough. I suggest flirting with him a little and testing the waters before any moves are made! You got this! ♡

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I totally feel like this sometimes! I think it’s relatively common. I definitely do the rambling thing, it’s like I forget to talk as soon as I need to ask someone a question. But we’re all so hyperfocused on ourselves that it’s difficult to remember that no one else is. That kid probably forgot your interaction as soon as it was over. If you figure out how to get out of your own head, though, please let me know.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Every day + every post, I feel like you and I are more and more alike. Why can’t you just be my real life best friend?!

    I feel awkward and self-conscious all. the. time. Especially when I have to go into the office. I feel like I walk weird, my laugh is weird, and I just got a new boss and every time he talks to me my face literally turns three shades of red (and I don’t like him or anything, so idk what’s up – pregnancy hormones?)… one of the things that helps me “get out of my head” is to give myself pep talks and reminders in my head lol which sounds counterproductive, but just a little reminder that I’m perfectly normal and fine helps me. Also, doing and wearing what makes me feel comfortable. I know everyone is always talking about getting out of your comfort zone which is great and all, but not all the time and not when you aren’t ready. I typically feel more at-ease when I’m not trying to be something I’m not, when I’m wearing an outfit that I feel confident in, when I’m thinking through a situation instead of just jumping in…

    Also, your haircut and forehead and perfect!

    Also, also, when it comes to relationships and crushes and boys and all that good stuff, do what feels right to you. Not everyone is made for making the first move or jumping in with both feet regardless of the outcome. My advice, be friends. 🙂 And if you are already friends, just keep being friends. I had the most positive outcomes with relationships (my husband included) when I just focused on talking or spending time with them without pressure. Just being friends for awhile gives you the opportunity to figure out if this crush is just getting the best of you or if this crush is really something. I was the QUEEN of crushes (if you remember my old blog), so I get you. I really do!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I always feel awkward all of the time too! I ramble, I say too much, I say too little. It’s even worse around anyone I have a crush on, although I find that once I actually start hanging out with them (even just as friends) it’s not AS bad. I think getting in my head definitely makes my awkwardness worse, so I try not to let my thoughts get to me. Even if you are embarrassed over a silly interaction, the other person probably doesn’t even think about it afterwards.

    Liked by 1 person

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