Why Not Everyone Knows I’m a Writer

There are two main things of writing that I do: this here blog and fiction writing. I’ve been writing as long as I can remember and probably why I decided to get two degrees in communication. (During my senior year, I’d crank out 15-page papers in like three days. Of course, I spent most of my nights at the library and also watched all nine seasons of Scrubs before they took it off of Netflix.)

But not a lot of people in real life—not that this blogging world we’re in isn’t real life, but I mean people I’m friends with not from the Internet—know that I actually have my blog or write fiction in my spare time.

I think two people know about my blog, and I never told them; I used to share blog links on my personal social media accounts, so I’m assuming that’s how they found it, which is fine. I think ~two people know I write fiction, and this includes one of the two people who know about my blog.

I feel like writers fall into one of two categories: either everyone knows you write or no one knows you even know how to string words together. I fall in the second one. And I’m not sure why.

Everything I write and post on here is pretty much how my life actually is, and I don’t post anything bad or mean. So it’s not like I’m hiding things from people. Maybe because it feels like the blogging world is different. Or when people know that you’re a “blogger” they assume that all you do is post pictures of yourself or assume you’re some sort of influencer. Sometimes I think blogging gets a bad reputation? I wish I could be more open about my blog with others.

I’m the only person I know who writes fiction. Unless my friends are closet fiction writers like I am. I’ve always made the assumption that people would think I’m weird for writing fiction. Or think that I’m just working on my screenplay. (I’d have to spend more time in a Starbucks for that to happen.)

Maybe I feel more motivated to blog because I know—for the most part—I’ll get feedback from you guys via likes or comments. I can tell if a post resonated with people, and sometimes the ones I don’t think will get a lot of comments actually do, and I like interacting with you guys.

When it comes to writing my story, I just feel like I’m typing into a Google doc, and I’m not getting any feedback. It’s just me and the screen. Me scrolling through the “big doc” as I call it—the one where the entire story lives—and wondering if this will be worth it. I write each chapter in a separate doc so that I don’t keep re-editing what I’ve already written and put in the big doc.

Then I start to get into my own head and think about the what-ifs or compare my writing to the books I read and then I feel discouraged. I think I’d be open to sharing my work in progress with someone just so I could get some sort of feedback rather than it just be me wanting to pull my hair out. I know it’s possible to get published, but after going through a year of job rejection, I’m not sure if I’m mentally stable enough to go through the process of sending my work to publishers.

Maybe just a start is to keep working on them and start reaching out to trusted friends to read them and give me feedback. I still have time to get my act together when it comes to fiction writing. I don’t need to have a book published by age 25. (That would also be impossible as I turn 25 this May.) But you know what I mean. Eventually, when I’m more stable in my life as an adult, I’d like to look into publishing.

Plus it’s hard to find the time to sit down and work on a chapter. It might go back to the whole “I can’t do everything at once” thing. I’m trying to work on it at least two times a week, but I want to give it the attention it deserves.

Do people in your real life know about your blog/other writing projects? How do you talk about your writing to others?

24 comments

  1. I share my blog on my facebook, but I’m not sure how many people actually read it. Since mine is almost entirely book reviews, it feels somewhat less personal. But I do feel weird telling people that I’m a “book blogger” irl, particularly when trying to explain how I have a book that isn’t even out yet, ha. I think you’re right that blogging has this weird reputation. I didn’t really know what it would be like when I started, but I really feel like it’s a whole other community separate from the others I’m in! It’s kind of cool.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I completely understand this! The people in my life know that I can write – they constantly text or call me to rephrase something they are trying to say or read my posts and tell me how much they love my writing – but I only share my blogs on my “blog facebook page” so I don’t invite everyone I know to read it… just people I think will actually care or enjoy it.

    As for your fiction writing – PICK ME PICK ME – I’ll be your long distance, super sweet editor. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I do share most of my posts on Facebook and my personal Twitter account. That said, I’m not sure how many people actually pay attention to the fact that I’m sharing posts that I’ve written. At least, not regularly. I think most of the people on Facebook who stumble upon my posts only do so because I tagged specific people or something I wrote just happened to catch their eye. Though, because there’s the possibility that anyone I know could potentially read what I write, I do hold back sometimes. There’s a part of me that wishes I could achieve anonymity while also doing the self-promotion thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t know how many people read the posts I shared on my personal accounts. When I looked at the analytics I never really saw any traffic coming from there.

      Yeah, there seems to be a balance you have to find between not revealing too much information but also wanting to write about things going on in your life. I struggle with that sometimes and rework my post so that I can still share what I want without being too sharey. I created the separate social accounts for my blog so I can still share my stuff but with the friends I’ve made in the blogging community.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I would say, off the top of my head, the number of people from my non-blogging life who know about my blogging is about 25, and it is only recently that high, and in some cases, only because I tagged them on Twitter to let them know I had written about them (even if not by name).

    That list does not include my father (although he may have heard my mother talking about it) or my brother, mostly because he’s not on social media. Now, out of those 25, there may be five who I’m pretty sure read regularly.

    To be honest, it’s easier for me for people I don’t know, or who I only know of online, to read my stuff, even though I don’t write anything bad and they’re always very nice. It’s some weird thing in my head.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel the same way as you about people I don’t know reading my stuff. You know how sometimes you’re willing to spill your guts to a stranger rather than your best friend? It’s because they don’t know you before you started sharing, or in our case starting blogging, so it’s a clean slate. I also think since we’re all on here blogging we’re interested in what each other have to say.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t share my blog with people I know in real life. Some people know I write, I don’t really hide that fact. I talk about my blog to friends but never give the link out. I even put on dating profiles that I have a blog and I write fiction. I keep my real life and blog life separate. But sometimes the blog people have spread over to my real life – I have their phone numbers, addresses, added them on Instagram, talked to them on the phone. But never the other way around lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s funny that you mention that you put that you have a blog on your dating profile. One guy that I was talking to last year, I ended up telling him I had a blog, only because he asked who I was doing my fantasy football league with (the one that Paul runs) and I was like, well, so I have a blog and I have blogging friends, and we’re in a fantasy league. He seemed cool with it. (He also ghosted me after our date, sooo.)

      Liked by 2 people

      • Lol the first guy I met through online dating here in Toronto, I didn’t know how to bring up my alopecia and we talked for like 2 weeks and he kept asking if I had any deal breakers and I felt bad not telling him so I sent him a link to my blog post that explained my alopecia, and he FLIPPED. Went off about how he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop and that he had lost all his trust in me and that he didn’t want to be a guninie pig for my online blog….

        Also I kind of feel like I’m ghosting a guy right now and I’m feeling HORRIBLE about it. He has a job interview tomorrow so I should probably say good luck but I have no excitement to talk to him again and idk how to tell him that exactly 😐 lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m going to hope that it didn’t work out with him because you don’t need that in your life.

        Ugh, that’s a tricky situation. If you do end things, at least find out how the interview went. And then maybe wait a few days and then just tell him you don’t think things will work out. Just in case it went bad you probably don’t want to give him more bad news… But in the grand scheme of life, I probably shouldn’t be giving relationship advice haha.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lol no the first guy, once he flipped and said he lost all trust in me, we never talked again lol

        And the second guy, the interview was today so I sent a good luck message but I just feel SO BAD! Like he checked in while I was at work and asked how my day was and I just had time to reply now but I feel like it’s all a lie lol I hate feeling like this. But I will have to come up with something before too long…if I give you a toonie will you do it for me? 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  6. People in my life know that I’m a writer, but they’re expecting me to make it big. It puts a lot of pressure on me. And, frankly, sometimes I don’t always like sharing some posts on my social media (where they’re present) because I’m afraid of what they’ll think.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I feel like some writers have trouble sharing their writing with others. I’m that way. There’s just something about opening yourself up for criticism or feedback. I know that sometimes it can be good, but it’s like opening up a part of yourself to others.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Most of my close friends, coworkers, and family members know about my blog. I like hearing what my friends think of my blog and getting feedback. Sometimes I do feel like I’m writing based on who actually reads my posts and I don’t always like that. Hopefully that made sense hahah.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Almost everyone in my “real” life knows I have a blog. I don’t think a single one of them reads my posts though. My mom and husband regularly share my posts, but I still don’t think they read them. Which is honestly ok by me. Sometimes I might edit what I want to write because I think they might read it, so I just go on the assumption that they don’t. I agree blogging has a bit of a reputation, it really depends on the person though.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Quite a difference from how many people in my “real life” know I have a blog…opposed to actually reading anything at all off it. A number of folks know of my writing interests, but you can count on one hand how many of them have ever read anything of mine. Specifically regarding WordPress, most all of my friends and acquaintances don’t really “get” the blogosphere. They are pretty much neck-deep in Facebook and Twitter, trying to keep up with recent family pictures, and the “tweets of the day.”

    Liked by 2 people

    • I agree with you about people who may not quite understand what blogging is or how we all interact. It’s not a typical social media or at least one of the mainstream ones. That’s why I don’t really tell a lot of people because I feel like I’m going to have to explain how it all works haha.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Early on, I was very open with sharing my blog on Facebook, but then I felt the interest in my blog started to trail off. (It might’ve just been me in my own head saying no one cares). So I pulled back from sharing most posts until it got to a point where I felt like a nuisance for sharing my blog. And then a bunch of things added up and I quit Facebook altogether. Even on Twitter (the account I specifically made for this blog, which has turned into my everything blog) I find it awkward sharing posts now and I don’t know why. I guess I don’t want to come across as someone begging non-bloggers to read my stuff, but at the same time would love people to read it. Did any of this make sense?

    Liked by 2 people

    • As I started reading your comment, I’m like, Paul deleted his Facebook. And then you said you quit Facebook… If your Twitter is for your blog, don’t feel weird sharing your posts. It helps people like me know that you have a new post. What you said does make sense, though.

      Liked by 2 people

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