To make up for my lack of baseball coverage this season, here’s a breakdown of this weekend’s Sox/Yanks series at the friendly Fenway confines. (Spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well for Yankee fans.)

Game 1: Thursday, August 2

The pitching match up was C.C. Sabathia vs. Brian Johnson. C.C., after making a horrible fielder error, ended up getting taken out after three innings. Then Jonathan Holder was brought in for fourth inning relief, and gave up seven runs and got no outs. By the end of the fourth, the Sox were leading 10-4.

Steve Pearce, who I didn’t have high hopes for, hit three homers during the game and racked up six RBIs. Everyone but Brock Holt and Blake Swihart/Sandy Leon—Swihart is now on the DL with hamstring tightness—had at least one hit during the game.

This game was exciting to watch at home, so I could only imagine how much Fenway was rocking that night.

Pretty sure ESPN hit a glitch in its score notifications because the final score of the game was 15-7, Red Sox.

Game 2: Friday, August 3

This was a fairly low scoring game compared to the one the night before—but to no one’s surprise Pearce hit another home run—and all the craziness started in the first inning.

“Pretty Ricky” aka “Ricky Porch Lights” aka “Ricky Raindrops” aka “Rip City Ricky” Rick Porcello unintentionally hit Brett Gardner, and both benches were warned. Gardner took first base and didn’t charge the mound. Then in the bottom of the first inning, Severino threw a high inside pitch that knocked Mookie Betts on the ground. So Alex Cora did what any rational manager would do: run out to home plate to argue with the ump who was already yelling at him to stay back. So Cora was tossed—his first ejection as manager—and Ron Roenicke, our bench coach, became acting manager for the rest of the game. (Boy do I miss Torey Lovullo.)

Then not even a half hour later, Mookie Betts is at second base. YEP. Ian Kinsler hurt himself crossing home plate and is now on the 10 day DL with hamstring tightness. So, since Rafy Big Scoops is on the DL and I’m not sure where Eduardo Nunez was, we were like, “Let’s put Mookie at second!!!!” Pearce ended up in right field and Mitchy Two-Bags Mooreland was put in at first. (In the eighth inning, Bogey took over at short and Brock slid over to second.)

Porcello threw an 86 pitch, one hit complete game, got his 14th win of the season, and is actually looking like a legitimate pitcher this season after his meh numbers last season (Also, fun fact: Rick Porcello’s real name is Frederick Alfred Porcello.)

Sox won 4-1, putting the Yankees 7.5 games back in the AL East.

Game 3: Saturday, August 4

This was a 4:00 p.m. game and I didn’t get to watch much of it because I had to work. But my boss is a Yankees fan and gave me score updates throughout the night. Until he had to tell me the Sox won. (For the life of me, I can’t remember how he found out I’m a Sox fan, but for like the last ~five years or so, he’s been giving me score updates during my shifts.)

Some 12-year-old started for the Yankees named Chance Adams, who everyone kept calling Chase Adam. Not to spoil the ending, he wasn’t all that good. He went five innings, gave up three runs, struck out two, and now has a 5.40 ERA after his first major league start.

Recent starting pick-up for the Sox Nathan Eovaldi started and went eight innings and has a 0.00 ERA in his two starts with the Sox. Mitchy Two-Bags hit a homer, and J.D. Martinez hit his 33rd of the season, again leading the MLB in homers.

Sox won 4-1—again—and are now looking down at the Yankees in the East from 8.5 games up.

Game 4: Sunday, August 5

I was also at work for this game, so my boss was giving me score updates until we left at 10:00 p.m., although no one had scored really by the time we got out. Then I got home just in time to watch the disaster that was the top of the seventh inning.

I also had to listen to the disaster that is the ESPN Sunday Night Baseball crew. Why is A-Rod allowed to commentate on Yankees games? I’m also still mad at Matt Vasgersian about his comment about a bachelorette party at a game.

They spent like three minutes talking about David Robertson’s calves and how he wasn’t wearing high socks like he normally does. NO ONE CARES.

I went to bed a little after 11:00 p.m. and before the rally in the bottom of the ninth. And I’m definitely mad I missed Benny’s walk-off hit, although it happened I think just before 1:00 a.m. and I had to be a somewhat functioning human being today at work.

Sox swept the Yanks and won the series finale, 5-4

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As I’m writing this, the Yankees are 9.5 games behind in the East, and boy does it feel good to be a Sox fan right now. Everyone keeps saying to do a wellness check on Yankees fans after this weekend, and I’d definitely advise on checking in on Brian Cashman, who was the one that said this last week:

“You wonder what their record would be if they weren’t playing us,” Cashman said at the time. “Because when we go head to head, we do some damage against them and it doesn’t seem like anybody else is capable.” (NESN)

Looks like the Yankees will need some damage control this week after the devastating series sweep.