Fair warning: this post is just me yelling about football players during this year’s free agency.

Carry on.

Case Keenum to the Denver Broncos: 

He’s only getting a two-year deal and joins like three other QBs on the roster. ONE OF THEM BEING BROCK OSWEILER.

Drew Brees stays with the New Orleans Saints: Not surprised. I could see him retiring as a Saint.

Kirk Cousins to the Minnesota Vikings: HAHAHAHAHAHAH suckers. Cousins signed a three-year/$84 million deal. He’s not worth that. Now the Redskins have Colt McCoy (who actually visited my high school when I was a freshman for some weird reason) and #1 clipboard holder Alex Smith to lead the team.

Sam Bradford to the Arizona Cardinals: The only thing I remember about Bradford is that he separated his shoulder in college when he was at USC. Apparently, the Vikings are cleaning house when it comes to QBs?

Danny Amendola to the Miami Dolphins: This was a little surprising. Mostly because the Dolphins still suck. He’s getting a two-year deal.

Teddy Bridgewater to the New York Jets: AGAIN VIKINGS, WAS THERE A FIRE SALE ON QUARTERBACKS THAT YOU DIDN’T PROMOTE? I haven’t heard of the other three QBs on the Jets’ roster, so maybe Teddy has a chance.

Jimmy Graham to the Green Bay Packers: The only reason why I know who he is is because of when the Seahawks were good. He’s getting a three-year/$30 million deal.

Packers release Jordy Nelson: It feels like he was with the team forever. Maybe he can find another good fit somewhere else. Rumor has it he’s meeting with the Raiders, Seahawks, and Saints. Swap for swap with the Seahawks and Graham?

Josh McCown stays with the Jets: He used to play with the Cleveland Browns at one point. That’s all.

Malcolm Bulter to the Tennessee Titans: He signed a five-year/$61 million contract. Literally only known for that one catch in Super Bowl 49. And being benched for Super Bowl 52.

Nate Solder to the New York Giants: Um, yeah, so apparently the Giants can afford to pay him $62 million for four years. Maybe it’ll be enough for him to protect Eli on the offensive line.

Cardinals cut Tyrann Mathieu: Poor honey badger.

Dolphins cut Ndamukong Suh:

This tweet was from 2013 but still relevant. The man can’t not step on someone during a game.

Trevor Siemian to the Vikings: WAS IT SWAP QUARTERBACKS DAY OR SOMETHING? Broncos sent Siemian to Minnesota and received Keenum in return. He’s going to be their starter if they don’t sign anyone else because the only other QB on the roster is some guy I’ve never heard of before.

So NFL free agency this year was fun. I did a lot of yelling. Guaranteed come the start of the season, I’ll forget all of these guys are on new teams.