On Sunday, I performed on stage for the first time in 15+ years since my gymnastics recitals in middle school.

And I actually had so much fun.

As I’ve talked about before, mostly in my monthly recaps, I’ve been taking a weekly dance class (sort of on and off depending on the schedule) taught by my old gymnastics teacher. I used to take gymnastics classes at a local dance studio, in elementary and middle school, so I wasn’t learning Olympics-style gymnastics, but enough that I still did yearly recitals.

After taking this summer off, our jazz class started back up in September, and we were working on a routine to perform in the studio’s annual showcase—basically a recital for adults. There were two other women in the class who had taken it before, so I knew them, but there were a handful of others I didn’t quite know, but after our weeks of practicing, I think we’re all best friends now.

Originally, our class was only going to meet for six weeks, but we were able to squeeze in two more additional classes for practice, as well as a rehearsal for the entire show at the studio on Saturday morning. Since I was only in the one song, a few of us sat as the “audience” and it was fun to see the entire run-through of the show and the other performances.

I invited my parents and Josh to the showcase, and they were all on board to come. My mom used to love yelling at my gymnastics recitals, and Josh has never seen me dance before. And my dad is just along for the ride. (I guess my mom told someone she was going to a recital for her daughter, and they asked how old I was, and she was like, “32”.)

The showcase was taking place at a high school, so we were all set up backstage amongst whatever props the high schoolers were using for their fall production. There were, I think, 18 of us dancers total, and the one guy who was also performing had an awesome setup backstage with snacks that was basically our own tailgate; he even had the Giants/Eagles game playing on an iPad.

My dance was at the top of Act 2 after the intermission, so I helped out a bit backstage with bringing chairs onto the stage in between songs. And it was fun to watch the show from the side while everyone else was performing.

We got ready on stage with a few minutes left in intermission, and then we were off. The song for my performance was the song “No Roots” by Alice Merton. Surprisingly, all of my worries went away, and I actually remembered all of the moves! Before I knew it, it was over, and we were running off stage. I knew where my parents and Josh were sitting in the audience, but it was hard to really see anyone with the lights shining on stage.

Right before the last song of the show, we needed to kill some time for a costume change, so a handful of us went out on stage to promote the studio in a silly skit. I was a last-minute recruit to be used as an example of, “If you come to class, you might have Becky do something like this,” and I did walking splits across the stage and cartwheels back to my starting spot. I told my parents and Josh that there would be a surprise toward the end of the show and that a few of us would be on stage, but I didn’t tell them I was breaking out some of my old gymnastics moves.

We all took final bows at the end of the show, and then we were done! It was so much fun and a great experience to be back on stage again. I wouldn’t consider myself a dancer by any means, but I think we can contain multitudes—we don’t have to stick to one thing and we can change over time. A lot of us at the studio used to dance when we were younger and took breaks because of life, and being able to take dance classes now helps us reconnect with our younger selves.

For me, dance seems to be the only way my busy brain will shut off; even when I run, I can still think over the podcast I’m listening to. The class gives me a solid hour of distraction from the outside world, and I don’t have time to think because I have to be ready for the next count of eight. And it also gives me some time to just have fun and know that things aren’t perfect and that’s okay.

I’m proud of myself for putting myself out there to not only take a dance class but to stick with it over two years and take part in a showcase on stage. The jazz class I was taking will be off for the holidays—that’s what’s happened in the past—so I’m going to start taking a contemporary dance class taught by the studio owner. I’ve found a nice little community, and I feel so much more confident in myself, especially after this dance session and showcase.