Alright, you know which ones I’m talking about. Those horribly cheesy and 110% predictable movies on the Hallmark channels. Who would have thought a card company would have its own television channels? I think it’s more than that. I mean, isn’t Hallmark just a lifestyle?
Hallmark creates original movies year round—there are ones for Valentine’s Day, spring, summer weddings, and fall harvest ones—but the channel is best known for its Christmas movies. Which are incredibly cheesy and follow the same format.
But I just keep watching them.
The holidays can be a crazy time—I mean, you actually have to interact with family and friends you only see once a year for a reason—and these movies allow you to escape for a little while. To places where it’s always flurrying but the snow never accumulates, and the girl always runs into the right guy.
I don’t see any attractive guys just stumbling into me and changing my life and then we kiss with literally two minutes left in the movie. It would be nice, but I know it’s not going to happen. So while the movies are fun to watch, they’re rather unrealistic. I mean, I don’t know of any small towns that have these Christmas festivals and bake sales but every town in a Hallmark movie has one, and the girl has to either run the entire thing or bake something at the last minute to save the day.
AND I SWEAR I’VE ALREADY SEEN TWO MOVIES THIS YEAR WHERE THE EX-BOYFRIEND’S NAME IS CARL.
Look, I’m sorry, but I think Carl is such an outdated name. And it also reminds me of a llama.
I’m guilty of downloading the Hallmark Christmas movie app—yes, there’s an app—where you can keep track of the new holiday movies that premiered this season. I’ve seen six out of the 21 that are scheduled to air. I don’t specifically make the time to sit on the edge of my seat for two hours, wondering if the girl and guy will ever get together, but I normally end up watching the Saturday night one because I’ve caught up on most of the shows in my DVR. (Plus most of the shows I watch have had their fall finales.)
So in the end, I hate to love Hallmark movies. I’m going to keep watching them, and I’m going to know what’s going to happen in each one, because it’s always boy meets girl/boy and girl work on some holiday thing/boy or girl gets a job offer somewhere else/boy and girl have misunderstanding/boy or girl runs to the other with five minutes left to say they’re staying and they’ve fallen for the other/boy and girl kiss/boy and girl ride off into the sunset with snow falling.
Have you ever watched Hallmark movies? What are your thoughts?