This isn’t a news flash or rocket science: we’re all different. We’re different based on our backgrounds, our upbringings, our pasts, our values, our attitudes, pretty much everything. We handle things differently, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

That being said, we can’t judge how something handles an event or situation.

We may have never been in that situation before or we have and we handled it differently.

If a family member or friend is going through something, then we have to be there to support them. Be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or provide some tough love when necessary. We can help them deal with it and try to be a good support system.

I try to be the ears that are there to listen. I haven’t been through much in my life, whether that’s a good or bad thing, but I like to think I’m a good listener. Venting helps me feel better, so I’d want someone to feel like they can vent to me. Because it does feel good to get things off your chest.

In college, one of my friends was the tough love kind, which I needed. She was there to listen, but she also told me how it is and was my voice of reason in a way, I guess. My blind optimism can get the best of me, and she was there to bring me down to earth.

It can be frustrating if you think someone is over-reacting to an event, but you have to put yourself in their shoes—Atticus Finch, anyone? It might take them a month to handle it or six months. We all grieve differently, handle break-ups/divorces/separations differently, and deal with other tragic events differently.

We need to be a support system for that person, to help them through the ups and downs. Do a simple favor for them, or offer to help with a project. Or be the friend that doesn’t necessarily ask about what’s going on but tries to keep his or her mind off of it. Be a sounding board for their ideas or rationals.

Because you can only hope they’ll be there for you when you need them.