When Your Past is Part of the Present

For some reason lately, I’ve been thinking about my past, which isn’t a good thing, because Becky circa 2014 was awkward. And I feel bad for whoever was friends with me during that time.

But that was a time of transition for me, as I found out–the hard way–that the friends I had and people I was associating with weren’t good for me. I started to get involved on campus and met new people, people who were nicer and better for me to have around.

Those people I stopped talking to only know that last me they associated with. I have changed over the last four years, and they don’t know what I’m like now. My ex and I broke up in the summer of 2015, and even since then, I’ve changed. And who knows what either one of us would be like if we ever crossed paths. So I could only imagine how it would be to talk with people I used to be friends with.

I’m sure that just like myself, others have changed since then. No one stays the same for too long, but if you’ve been hurt and you’re left with that image of a person, it’s hard to think that they’ve changed.

Do they deserve to be back in your life?

It’s been years, and you’ve gone your own way. And here they are, popping back in. Should you be the bigger person and let them back in? Or not because there’s a good reason why they weren’t in your life for all those years?

It’s gnawing at me, and I keep replaying what happened all those years ago. Sometimes there’s a reason why you part ways with someone, and sometimes there’s not. But do you just forgive and move on? Or keep guarding yourself because you know what happened before?


  1. Lovely post. Hmm, I always feel that forgiving someone always you sets yourself free as well from all the bad memories. However, being friends with someone again is entirely different I think. I don’t think there is an obvious answer. It depends on each person and asking yourself, is there something in that person I still want to get to know again? Good luck. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I really liked this post. I think about the past a lot and I shouldn’t, I really really really shouldn’t. Because while you were awkward, I was mean. Not outright mean, but I didn’t things that I thought were okay that hurt other people indirectly. I still wrestle with whether or not I was in the wrong, but whether or not I was, I lost my friends. My very best friend has cut me completely out of her life and that hurts, but what I did hurt too. Whether we were meant to not be friends forever or not, I wish I could tell her how sorry I am and show her how much I’ve changed. I really think it depends on the person as well as if you are willing to look past the past and forgive. If you aren’t willing to ACTUALLY move forward, then don’t even bother.

    Liked by 1 person

    • This post is just a bunch of my rambling but it had been bugging me for a few days. Someone from my past (my awkward years) came back into my life via Instagram, and he hadn’t been involved in my life in any way for four years. Why follow me now? I’m sorry to hear about you and your friend. Most friendships that ended for me just short of quietly did, and I guess there’s a reason why they’re not in my life anymore. It does come down to forgiveness and wondering if you can put the past behind you. I’m sure some people can change, but sometimes the last impression you had of them sticks with you.

      Liked by 1 person

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