I would have made this into a Diary post, but I did one already this month, so I didn’t want to do another one. But also, this is my blog, and I make the rules? I guess this list would fall more under “Dumb Things That Are Making Me Nervous,” which made its debut two years ago.

Condo construction: Last year, all of the condo residents voted to approve construction on all of the buildings, which started in the fall. The project includes redoing all of the roofs, putting up new vinyl siding, redoing the wooden decks, putting up new gutters, etc. Basically, an overhaul of the outside of the buildings, which were built in the 1980s. 

The construction crew has finally made it to the little circle where our building is (it’s our building of seven units and another building with four units on the opposite side). The HOA president has been leaving notes on our doors with updates, mostly when we need to move our cars. I know that all I’m responsible for is making sure my car is moved out of the way (parking on the main road in the complex instead of in the garage), but for some reason, I feel like I need to manage the work in our circle? When I don’t? Because I see the HOA president out all the time with the construction crew, and I know he’s on top of things. I just don’t want to be in the way or cause any issues, which I know I won’t if I’m parked out of the way. (The same with Josh; he’s been parking on the main road when he gets home from work.)

Post-dermatologist appointment: I had an appointment with a dermatologist last Friday to have the rosacea on my face looked at. I’ve always had it, and there’s no cure for it, but some creams are known to help, and there are ways to manage it.. I went to the same dermatologist’s office about four years ago, but it wasn’t really helpful. My mom goes to the same office and said the NP she sees now is great, so I made an appointment with her.

The cream I was prescribed has to come from a specialty pharmacy (the cost will be much less than through a regular pharmacy since it’s not covered by insurance and there’s no generic version of it), so I placed that order online on Monday. (I was originally worried about how the process would go, but I received an email from the pharmacy to set up an account and order the cream. It’ll be shipped to the condo, and I think I’ll get a tracking number once it ships.) The NP also gave me my first official skin care routine for morning and night, which leads into my next worry.

I’m not enough of a “girl” to be allowed in Ulta Beauty: I left the dermatologist appointment with a list of suggested products to use in the morning and night. That meant a trip to Ulta Beauty, since I also needed to get new makeup (eyeliner, mascara, and foundation); Ulta is the only local place that carries the IT Cosmetics CC cream foundation I use. I’m still waiting for the cream to ship from the pharmacy, but I figured I could go and get everything to use in the meantime.

I went after work yesterday, armed with screenshots of the products from the Ulta website. And I really hope I didn’t look as lost and helpless as I felt. I always feel like a fish out of water in that store and get overwhelmed by the amount of products. In the past, I would usually just buy my makeup at CVS, but since I started using the IT Cosmetics foundation, it’s easier to get it in the store than to order it online. So I suck it up and go. I wandered aimlessly through the store, ready to give up when I couldn’t find the skin care area, but I eventually found it—part of me would have admitted defeat and asked an employee if needed, which is my least favorite thing to do.

Not enough time for hobbies: I feel like I’ve talked about this before in reference to not having enough time in the day to do everything I want to do. But how am I supposed to work 40 hours, eat three meals a day, exercise three days a week, spend time with Josh, talk to my mom on the phone a few times, sleep eight hours each night, and have enough time for all of my hobbies, which include reading, writing, watching TV, cross-stitching, and coloring?! It’s not humanly possible! And it’s stressing me out. Reading is already in my daily routine (sometimes after I eat lunch during the week, but always before bed), but I feel bad when I start cross-stitching for a few days and then neglect it. The same with coloring—I was on a huge coloring kick earlier in the year but haven’t picked it back up in a few months. I know these inanimate objects don’t have feelings or care about how often I work on them. I also don’t want to force myself to do these hobbies if I’m not feeling them. I think I operate off of vibes; I’ll do whatever appeals to me in the moment, and I’ll eventually get back to my other hobbies when I want to.

Being outside (when I wasn’t an outside kid): I don’t know why, but as soon as New England gets past its false spring and we actually get warmer weather, I want to be outside all of the time. I wasn’t really an outside kid (I had friends whose parents basically made them play outside all day), but now I get mad at myself if I don’t go outside if it’s nice out? Because I feel like I’m wasting the day? But I also have spring allergies? And I’m the only one putting this pressure on myself? My balcony furniture isn’t out yet (the construction crew did our roof last Thursday and Friday, so we’ve been waiting to bring up the chairs and table), but once it is, this is an easy compromise because I enjoy sitting outside and reading. In the meantime, I can at least open the sliding door in the living room. Plus, I can always go for short walks in the neighborhood after work.

Probably how awkward I was during my guest speaking yesterday: My boss adjuncts an IT class every spring, and I usually guest speak toward the end of the semester about my current role in the University marketing department and my professional path. I spent last week putting together a presentation (about 20 slides), and I like guest speaking about my job and past experience, mostly because it’s easy to talk about. And I hope the students find it interesting.

I ended up speaking for about 40 minutes during the class yesterday, and I think, for the most part, everything sounded good. But I definitely wouldn’t want to watch a recorded version of it (which, I know, does not exist). Four students asked questions when I was done, all of which were relevant to things I talked about. I think this is me just feeling self-conscious about my public speaking, talking (too) much with my hands, and fumbling over a few sentences here and there.