Because I’m an absolutely terrible person, this is the first of Paul’s quizzes I’ve done. Better late than never? I need a distraction from how busy this week is for me, so why not? (Plus I’ve promised Paul I’d do his quizzes and haven’t and I think the future of our internet friendship is riding on this.)

Questions

1. You and a stranger are stuck in an elevator for three hours. After how many minutes would you tell them your name?

Do I know ahead of time that I’m going to be stuck in there for three hours with a stranger? I think if I knew it was going to be that long of a time, I’d maybe say ten minutes. If I don’t know how long I’m going to be in there prior, then it wouldn’t be as soon because I’d be more worried about someone finding us and rescuing us.

2. You’re the first person to enter the movie theatre. Which seat do you choose and why?

I go all the way up to the top row on the left hand side and sit in the first seat by the aisle. I like to be up high in the theater but also on the end in case I need to get up.

3. If you were to navigate a giant maze with one celebrity, who would it be and why do you think you’d work well together?

I’m not sure if he counts as a celebrity—he was on a reality show, though—but I’d pick Joey from season 1 of The Circle. He was my favorite from the start and he just seems like such a nice guy. I feel like he’d be open to trying new ways to navigate the maze and be encouraging along the way if we get super lost.

4. Eggs can be cooked in many different ways. Pick one and build a meal around it. What is included in that meal?

I’ve been into fried egg sandwiches for breakfast on the weekends. It’s a fried egg on two pieces of toast—toasted just right, not too light or too burnt—with shredded cheddar cheese and a cooked turkey sausage round. And I’ll dip it in ketchup. It would be served with a mug of hot tea and a cup of apple juice.

5. Select the task you’d be able to complete the fastest and explain why:
A) Blow up (with your mouth) and tie 3 balloons or B) Pop 150 balloons with a thumbtack

As an asthmatic, part of me wants to say B but 150 seems like a lot of balloons. Plus sometimes balloons are hard to pop? So I’d say A and just have to have my inhaler handy prior. (I hope that doesn’t count as a performance-enhancing drug.)

6. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is a talk show hosted by Jerry Seinfeld. Using the same format for the title (Ex. Poodles on Patios Getting Crumbs), what would be the name of your talk show?

Position Players Pitching in Bullpen Carts Getting Beers. I’d drive a bullpen cart around the warning track of a baseball stadium while interviewing position players who have recently pitched, and we’d get beers from the concessions.

7. Arthur is an animated educational television series for children. What are 5 television shows you watched as a child?

Bear in the Big Blue House, The Big Comfy Couch, Blue’s Clues, The Busy World of Richard Scary, and Franklin.

8. Pillows provide support and help keep our upper body aligned during sleep. What is the strangest place you’ve ever fallen asleep? Tell the story, if there is one.

I unfortunately don’t have a good response to this question. I can only fall asleep in my own bed or on a couch; I can’t even sleep in the car.

9. “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” is a song by the band, Tears for Fears. If you could be in charge of anything, what would it be?

It doesn’t exist but I’d like to be in charge of the National Association of Bat Dogs. I’d make sure that all of the bat dogs across baseball games are treated well, have enough snacks and exercise, and have cute little bandanas to wear during games.

10. Your closet is a portal to a new “location” (think: wardrobe to Narnia), where does it lead to? What do you see?

A never ending library with cute little nooks with comfy furniture and unlimited snacks. There would be windows and it would be the right amount of rainy all the time so that you can curl up by the window and listen to the rain while reading. It would be an ultimate place of calm and relaxation, and it would automatically replenish itself with the newest books available.

BONUS QUESTION

1. Please enter the correct 6-digit passcode to successfully escape this quiz.

123456