It’s okay to miss how things used to be. That’s natural. That someone was a big part of your life, and in a second, everything was gone. It doesn’t make you a bad person. I’m sure you are a wonderful person who just happened to experience something really bad. You’re allowed to have your time to grieve, but do not question what you did wrong. Life happens, and sometimes people just grow apart. That’s natural.
Breakups are a horrible experience, and I never saw mine coming. The following few months were definitely a learning experience and it took me a while to figure out how I felt about everything and what exactly I wanted. It may have taken a little longer than I wished it did, but now I have closure and feel more confident in myself.
You are stronger than you think. It may seem like the end of the world, but you will come out a better person. Sometimes for me, it’s hard to believe I was even in a relationship. It’s a part of my past that I can’t erase and it makes me who I am now.
I’m not going to lie and say I don’t think about him. It’s typically not directly, but little things that trigger thoughts of him. I’ve learned how to control them, accept them, and move on from them. At first I used to push those thoughts away, but now I acknowledge them and know that it doesn’t make me weak for thinking like that.
The one thing I do think about, though, is that there’s someone else out there for me that I can have all of these experiences and adventures with. He’ll watch sports with me, put up with my obsession for dogs, and know how to make me laugh. I’ll support him, and he’ll support me. I know what it’s like to love someone, and I know I can love someone else in the future.
For now, I still may have those thoughts, and it’s okay. It’s natural and apart of who I am now.