This is more of a word-vomit situation than my typical diary posts in the past, but this is my blog and I make the rules, so yeah.

I told myself that going into this year, I wouldn’t watch the news as much. Yet, I find myself constantly watching the news. And also scrolling on social media.

How do I strike the balance between staying informed and also wanting to stick my head in the sand? I feel like if I don’t know what’s going on, then it’s like I don’t care or I care too much about what happens to other people. But then if I know what’s going on, then it feels like I don’t have any control over what’s actually happening and I end up wide awake at 2:00 am, having to go sleep on the couch.

Josh asked me why I keep watching the news, and I said I’d like to know ahead of time if the world is going to blow up. He then said knowing if the world is going to blow up ahead of time won’t change anything. I’d like to think having a heads-up would make me feel a bit better about the impending end of the world.

I don’t know if I have an answer for all of this, and if I go searching for one, especially online, I’ll end up down some rabbit hole. Do I just keep living my life while all of these other things are happening at the same time? Time and attention are important, so do I use my time wisely and only pay attention to things that directly affect me and the people I care about? Or do I treat myself like a child and only give myself an hour of screen time a day?

Until someone can point me in the right direction, I think I can only take it one day at a time, enjoy my hobbies, and try my best to take care of myself.