Folks, let’s just call it what you want: this Super Bowl is about Taylor Swift and Taylor Swift only.

It just so happens that the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49ers are playing for the Lombardi Trophy, no big deal. I mean, this is already a repeat of Super Bowl LIV, so there might already be some bad blood between the two teams. I don’t think any of us want a repeat of 2020 as a whole. Living through one global pandemic is enough for me, thank you very much. (If only I could be in the same running shape as I was four years ago…)

The stars of this show are going to be Mama Kelce and T-Swift—assuming she makes it from Japan in time after her show on the Eras Tour. (The Embassy of Japan issued a statement saying that she “should comfortably arrive in Las Vegas before the Super Bowl begins”.) Because who in their wildest dreams thought that this would be a possible problem?

I feel like Tony Romo is going to be the most excited that Swift is in attendance; maybe CBS will have a “Taylor Cam” in the lower corner of the screen like how MSNBC has the “Kornacki Cam” of Steve Kornacki during election results at the big board. I’d also like the record to reflect that back in 2016, I did watch the entire season of Catching Kelce—the dating reality show Travis Kelce was on. I will never get those hours back in my life.

And if you were wondering the same question I was when these two teams played each other four years ago: the Chiefs will be wearing their home red uniforms while the 49ers will opt for their away white jerseys. It would have been awkward if the teams showed up in the same thing; will the Chiefs’ red jerseys be so scarlet, they were maroon?

Some fun facts about this year’s Super Bowl:

• This is the first time Las Vegas is hosting the Big Game, which is good for sports betting but bad for players who want to bet on the games. Members of the 49ers and Chiefs are prohibited from even visiting a casino for non-sports gambling purposes. (The Athletic)
• Patrick Mahomes is playing in his fourth Super Bowl and if he wins on Sunday, he’ll join an elite group who have won the Lombardi Trophy at least three times.
• Brock Purdy will be the first “Mr. Irrelveant” to quarterback a Super Bowl team. The nickname “Mr. Irrelveant” is given to the last overall pick of the NFL draft, which Purdy was as the 262nd pick in the 2022 draft. There have been only three Mr. Irrelveants to make it to the Big Game: Purdy, Marty Moore, and Ryan Succop. (USA Today)
• The Chiefs and 49ers know this scenario all too well: the two teams are playing in their second Super Bowl against one another. The Chiefs defeated the 49ers by a score of 31-20 in Super Bowl LIV.
• If the Chiefs win this year, it will be the ninth time an NFL team has won back-to-back titles. This was done most recently by the New England Patriots in 2003-2004.
• This will be the 22nd time CBS has televised the Super Bowl, more times than any other network.
• Halftime performers aren’t paid, so Usher won’t be taking home a paycheck after his performance. The NFL only covers expenses and production costs. (People)
• Pre-game performances include Reba McEntire singing the National Anthem, Post Malone singing “America the Beautiful,” and Andra Day singing “Lift Every Voice and Sing.”
• The 49s are 2.5-point favorites to win, and the under/over for total points is 47.5.

Our plans for the Big Game include going to Josh’s cousin’s house, and, of course, we’re bringing snacks: pretzel bites and fried pickles—our two favorite appetizers. I have a t-shirt with the NFL logo that says “Taylor’s Verison” on it that I will be wearing, but I’ll be rooting for the 49ers. Josh is also rooting for the 49ers but won’t be mad if the Chiefs win.

The drinking game for this year’s game is very simple.

Drink if…

• The broadcast shows Taylor Swift
• The broadcast talks about Taylor Swift

(You’ll be drunk even before kick-off. Please drink responsibly.)

If the 49ers win in this re-match, will it be better than revenge? If the Chiefs win, will they become the last great American dynasty? Will this be the last time these two teams play each other in the Super Bowl? Have you realized I hid eight Taylor Swift song titles in this post? 😉