Folks, Super Bowl LIV—54 for those of you who don’t frequently used roman numerals in daily life—is tomorrow and has a unique feature to it. No, it’s not that the New England Patriots aren’t in it for the fourth year in a row. It’s that both the San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City Chiefs have red and gold as their primary colors.
The shades of red are different—the 49ers is more maroon-ish while the Chiefs have a bit of a bolder red—and thankfully both teams won’t be wearing all red uniforms tomorrow. According to CBS Sports, since the AFC champion was designated the home team, the Chiefs got to choose their jerseys. They’ll be in red jerseys and white pants, while the 49ers will be in white jerseys and gold pants. So that makes me feel a little bit better. Because do you know how hard it would be to watch the game if both teams were wearing red jerseys?
Also, I feel bad for State Farm that the Green Bay Packers lost to the 49ers didn’t make it to the Super Bowl. Could you imagine the commercials they could make? Granted, they’ve have to produce them pretty quickly between the NFC championship game and the Super Bowl, but it’d be dumb if they missed out on the opportunity. (For those of you who are probably like “wait, what does football have to do with Jake from State Farm?”, Packers QB Aaron Rodgers and Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes are both in State Farm commercials, both separately and together.)
At first, I didn’t really care what team wins, but then I remembered Tyreek Hill still plays for the Chiefs, and I’m like, nope, rooting for the 49ers now. And they have female offensive assistant coach, so #GirlPower.
My mom always makes wonderful snacks for the Super Bowl. This year’s menu includes:
- Homemade mozzarella sticks
- Mini meatball sliders
- Taco dip
- Popcorn chicken
- Pigs in a blanket
- Homemade peanut butter and graham cracker rice crispy treats
The heartburn is 100% worth it.
I’ll also be watching the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet, as well as the Kitten Bowl on the Hallmark Channel. Assuming my dogs don’t bark at the TV and ruin everything.
Here’s my drinking game for this year’s Super Bowl:
- If the National Anthem takes more than two minutes
- Any time the broadcast mentions Tom Brady
- A. I feel like he just always comes up no matter what, but also B. Jimmy Garoppolo* was a backup in New England and got two Super Bowl rings out of it
- If Steve Young and/or Joe Montana (especially since he played for both teams) are mentioned
- If you see a State Farm commercial
- Chug if Patrick Mahomes is in it
- If Mike Shanahan is mentioned (his son, Kyle, is the 49ers head coach)
- Every time they show the 49ers defensive coordinator (apparently this happens a million times)
- Every time they talk about Mahomes’ dislocated knee cap injury
- If Andy Reid looks like a walrus
- If anyone says it’s been 50 years since the Chiefs were in the Super Bowl
- If the broadcast shows Patrick Mahomes’s girlfriend
- If there’s any mention of the 49ers’ five Super Bowl rings
- If A-Rod shows up at half-time to support J-Lo
- Chug if he’s dancing
- If there are any cool touchdown celebrations
- Drink again if it looks like the entire team is involved in the celebration
- If any commercial sucks
- If any commercial that doesn’t make sense
- If any commercial has a baby or an animal in it
*Fun fact: I call him Jimmy Galapagos.
(Also thanks to Paul for a few suggestions!)
You can obviously use your beverage of choice, whether alcoholic or non-alcoholic. I have a few beers I’ve been saving for the game but I’m not sure what I’ll have yet. My choices will be included in my post-Super Bowl recap.
What are your plans for the Super Bowl? Who do you want to win?