Becky

On the Fence About Relationships

It’s been 10 months since I went on a date, and it’s been almost four months since I deleted Tinder and Bumble off my phone.

I’ve never had good luck with dating, or really guys in general. I didn’t have my first relationship until I was 20, and we dated for almost a year and a half. We were long distance when we weren’t at college, and it kind of messed things up. We broke up… well, it’ll be three years come this August.

Since then, I’ve been on one date with a guy from Bumble, another date with a guy from Tinder, and a third with a guy from I originally met on Tumblr.

Moral of the story: I need to stop going on dates with guys from the Internet.

My co-workers have joked and said they’ll set me up with friends of theirs, but nothing’s ever come of it.

I’m used to be on my own, really, so I’m okay not being in a relationship. I like coming home after work, putting on sweatpants, and watching TV. (And when it gets warmer, I’ll go for a run, and then put on sweatpants and watch TV.)

But I do miss having someone to do stuff with, to go on trips and adventures with, and someone to talk to throughout the day. But I think that timing is such a big thing, and you can’t force chemistry. If it’s not there, it’s not there.

And let’s be honest: dating is hard, whether you’re just going on dates or actually in a relationship with someone. Sure it’s worth it in the end and you get all those butterflies, but right now, I don’t need that extra stress or worry in my life.

Back in college, I tried to force something that never ended up happening, and I stumbled into my relationship with my ex. I think that’s how it goes, sometimes. You find yourself with someone when you least expect it. So that’s my philosophy right now.

We’ll see what happens.

7 comments

  1. YAS GIRL! You are absolutely right. Not forcing it is the key. I’m not expert on relationships, but I used to struggle with wanting to be in one so bad. I always felt lonely and unwanted and didn’t understand what was “wrong” with me. You followed me on my old blog, so you know how messed up I was. My first date ever was a total disaster and then my first “relationship” was a second disaster, because these people were not good for me, but I thought I could make it work, because I desperately (yes, I’ll admit it) wanted to be loved and adored by someone. Then when I had finally reached rock bottom and completely given up, I made a new friend who turned out to be the love of my life. So I fully support the notion of letting whatever happen, happen. You might be surprised. 🙂

    And if you ever make it down to North Texas, I’d love to hang out with you!

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    • It’s like I wanted to have a relationship so badly when I didn’t have one yet, and then I had one, and now I’m like, okay, I’m good for a while. I’m sure I’ll meet the right person someday, but it just doesn’t work when you force it. I’m glad everything ended up working out for you though, you guys look really happy together.

      I may have to come down to Texas if it doesn’t warm up here soon. I’ve also never flown so I have to tackle that fear, too. But I do have this weird fascination with Texas, so one day I’m hoping to get down there.

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      • Do it! Seriously, I would love to show you around the Dallas area. It would be so much fun and flying isn’t my favorite, but it’s not so bad. 😀

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  2. I completely relate to you! I was in a very similar position about 10 months ago. I had Bumble, and I had gone on a few terrible first dates. Then I was taking to a guy I met through work – that turned out to be an incredibly stupid idea! I unexpectedly met someone who is an amazing fit for me at a little get together I almost didn’t attend. Some days, I miss the solo sweats & TV nights, but when you’re ready for them to disappear, you’ll find your fit!
    I’m having some alone time tonight before my fit comes over, and I’m glad I came across your page! .xo.

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    • I’m a believer in things will happen when they do, and while you’re waiting for that someone to come along, you can still do a bunch of fun things and learn more about yourself. Thanks for sharing your story 🙂

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